A Journey to Belonging
Growing up, I never felt like I fit in, even in my own family. Fitting in seemed to come so naturally to other kids; it was like they didn't even have to try; they just belonged. The feeling of belonging is something I have spent most of my life searching for, longing to find. I even remember fantasizing about being recruited to become a secret agent because then I would belong to something. The irony is that even at a young age, I knew that "those types" of agents were usually orphans with no parents, and I felt I would have been better off with no parents than in the situation I was in.
As human beings, our need to belong is deeply wired into us even from birth; it is not something we have to learn. It's a deep knowing within us. I may not have been cognitively aware of this need to belong when I was growing up; however, this need presented itself in other ways. The need to belong to a family that was not capable of accepting me and loving me wholeheartedly due to their own unhealed trauma presented itself in thoughts like, "Why don't they love me?" and, "What's wrong with me (that makes me unworthy of love)?"
When it came time to make friends, these limiting beliefs around my worth, lovability, and belonging translated into more limiting beliefs like, "Why don't they like me?" and, "If they don't like me, there must be something wrong with me." Looking back, it's easy to see how the need to belong and a lack of belonging can spiral into lifelong beliefs of unworthiness, being unlovable, self-hatred, and thoughts of "there's something wrong with me." And I did spiral into deeper and deeper layers of self-hatred, anxiety, and depression throughout grade school, high school, college. This downward spiral continued until I eventually hit rock bottom in my early to mid-twenties when the emotional toll on my body erupted into debilitating physical chronic pain and illness.
I was floating through life, like a leaf getting tossed in the wind. I had no roots anywhere, no sense of groundedness or belonging. Despite having an apartment, my car still felt like the closest thing to home. After spending most of my life going from one place to another, it's no surprise I found the most comfort in the only constant, the thing that kept me moving. Even after physically settling down and buying a home, I still struggled to feel at home and like I belonged. I was loved, and I was lonely. I had friends, and I felt isolated. It was as if there was this barrier between me and the world, and I just wasn't meant to fit in.
Feeling like I had no choice but to be alone, I embraced the solitude and turned inward. I spent a lot of time getting to know myself, my traumas, my triggers, my passions, my joys, and my purpose; all of it, no part left out. What I found was that through journeying inward, we can access the part of ourselves that has always belonged. Beneath all the limiting beliefs, beneath all the familial and societal conditioning, there is an inherent belonging. We were all born on this Earth; therefore, we all belong to this Earth. The feeling of belonging is always available to us if we can ground ourselves in this knowing.
When I started to practice grounding, a presence-based practice of consciously connecting your energy field with the Earth’s electromagnetic energy field, I noticed how much bigger and expansive this sense of belonging is than any limiting beliefs. The beliefs about my unworthiness, lovability, and imperfections were still there (and still are to some extent); however, grounding allowed them to be held with compassion. Through consistent grounding practice, I finally feel at home, not just in my own house but just about wherever I go. The feeling of belonging that I so desperately longed for ever since I was a child continues to grow. Not only do I feel a belonging to this Earth, but grounding also has created a foundation for me to connect with others in ways I never thought possible.
If you, too, have ever felt like you don’t belong, I see you! You belong in this world. You are meant to be here on this Earth. May you trust that there is a knowing deep inside you waiting to be discovered. The truth of your belonging is always with you; may you have the courage and compassion to reveal it.
Grounding Practice
The practice of grounding has gained much attention from a scientific perspective due to its immense and widespread benefits, including wound healing, better sleep, decreased inflammation, and improved immune response. Although most of the research has focused solely on using direct contact with the Earth to absorb the benefits of its electromagnetic field, grounding can be done anywhere and in any posture that respects the physical condition of your body. Because our bodies are made of the same elements as Earth, a “memory imprint” of Earth’s energy exists within us. By pairing our thoughts and intentions, we can connect with this memory imprint and channel Earth’s energy no matter where our physical body is located.
You may find that it is more beneficial to practice in nature where your physical body can connect with Earth's electromagnetic field. Your body is your best teacher; I invite you to try different postures and environments and see what you notice. As one of my teachers reminds me, contrast provides wisdom. Find what works for you.
I lovingly offer you this free guided grounding meditation to support you on your journey. This is an invitation to practice standing, which is an alternative meditation posture to the traditional sitting, which can be more accessible to beginners and those that find it difficult to sit. However, I invite you to listen to your body and find a posture that honors where you’re at.
If you're interested in learning more about these practices and how they can benefit you or if you want to deepen your current practice, I invite you to check out my services page.
Grounding Research