Working With Physical Pain
In the practice of mindfulness and meditation, we concentrate on deepening our awareness of all sensations, whether pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. People often ask why someone would want to become more aware of unpleasant sensations in the body. As I sit here a week and a half before this website launches, working on content, I start to feel nauseous. This past week I received some disappointing news about my health that validates some of the physical symptoms I've been having recently. Sometimes thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations happen so close together that it can require being especially mindful to differentiate them from one another.
I am aware of the physical discomfort in the upper middle part of my belly. I am also aware of thoughts of failing, not being enough, and not being capable. I recognize the emotional reaction I am having as anxiety. I pause. I breathe with the experience I am having. As I breathe, I see if I can notice how the experience is flowing with the breath. I focus my attention on the center point of discomfort in my belly with a kind, gentle curiosity. Like a caring friend, I tend to this part of me, not trying to fix it or change it. With a caring attention on this part of me, I recognize it needs to be seen and heard. In this pause, with these breaths, and this kind attention, I notice a softening around the dense core of the nausea. It has shifted to a hollow ache and slight grumble. In the space of awareness and compassion, the sensation in my belly is allowed to be exactly what it is, an ever-evolving flow of sensations with associated thoughts and emotions.
The moment of pause, the moment of awareness, is where "the magic" happens. Awareness is what helps us begin to unravel the layers of unworthiness and imperfection that cover up our inherent goodness, lovability, and unconditional worthiness. The moment we become aware is often the moment we see the layers. After we become aware and recognize our layers, there is an opportunity to practice radical acceptance. In seeing the layers of unworthiness, we have a choice. We can push away those parts of ourselves with self-hatred, guilt, and shame. We can believe the layers are who we are and allow them to define who we are as a person. Conversely, we can choose to go deeper and accept them as part of who we are, a perfectly imperfect human being, a soul in a human body.
Physical pain, which is the body's alarm system, can trigger unpleasant thoughts and emotions. It can often feel like we don't have a choice regarding our physical pain, especially if it's chronic. However, we do have a choice! We can choose to reinforce thoughts, stories, and beliefs of unworthiness when we experience physical pain. Alternatively, we can view it as an invitation to shatter the illusion and reveal the truth of our unconditional worth. Our inherent worth is revealed when we identify the layers of unworthiness that are covering our core goodness. By recognizing and accepting that which is shielding, protecting, and covering our true nature, we also see the cracks in the layers. These cracks are where our inner light, our inner worth and goodness, shines through. Through awareness and radical acceptance, we shatter the illusion of our unworthiness, and allow our inner light to shine, revealing the truth of our unwavering worth. The truth of our worth, bearing witness to our light and goodness, allows space to hold pain without feeling like it defines us. We have the awareness to witness the pain as a sensation we experience rather than who we are as an identity.
The moment I paused and chose to write what I was experiencing, I allowed the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations to move, shift, and flow naturally. Practicing mindfulness with unpleasant and uncomfortable physical sensations helps us deepen our awareness. As awareness deepens, we identify deeper layers of unworthiness that prevent us from experiencing a life of abundance. I like to think of it as similar to a video game; as your skills improve, you can navigate more challenging levels. Mindfulness is no different; our level of awareness and acceptance directly correlates to the depth with which we can wisely work with our layers of unworthiness. Likewise, the deeper we go, the more we reveal our true nature. As beings of unconditional worthiness, abundance is our true nature. We are worthy of abundant joy and freedom! Physical pain does not have to limit or diminish our abundance. We can learn to hold space for it all; the limitlessness of our abundance is expansive enough to hold all our feelings, sensations, and experiences. Pain, therefore, can be experienced as the ever-changing flow of sensations that it is, distinct and separate from our identity of self.
Awareness of physical pain and discomfort allows us to recognize the relationship between what we feel physically, what we feel emotionally, and what we think. With practice, bringing a kind, gentle, curious attention to physical pain can also increase our confidence and ability to be with pain, also known as the window of tolerance. There are times in life where we cannot always fix our pain or make it go away. Developing a solid foundation of self-trust to "be with" pain is an invaluable life skill.
For more help working with physical pain, I invite you to check out Self+Care Coaching.