Holiday Self+Care Tips
The holidays can be a beautiful time full of joy, celebration, and connection. However, they can also be highly stressful, chaotic, and sometimes even traumatic. So what can we do to maximize our holiday joy and minimize the holiday burnout?
Looking back on my own holiday experiences, I can remember seasons filled with love, happiness, and joy, and I can remember seasons riddled with fear, depression, and anxiety. When I think about what made the difference between a holiday of cheer and one of sorrow, the most significant difference is how I cared for myself through the season.
The holiday season has historically been a difficult time for me because of my relationship with my family. After both my mother and grandmother passed away in 2013, I spent a few years celebrating the holidays with my father, step-mother, and half-brother. From the outside looking in, these festivities looked like picture-perfect holidays. However, on the inside, I was exhausted from having to play the role of someone my family would approve of. I felt like I couldn't be myself because I did not fit their perfect family picture.
Constantly denying my authentic self to gain the approval of my father and his new family felt like an exercise in futility. It was energetically draining and soul-destroying. When we have to hide parts of ourselves to be loved or accepted it sends the message that we are not enough, we are not lovable just as we are, and that we are not worthy. These messages, however, are not true; they are a reflection of other people’s insecurities and inability to love and accept themselves just as they are.
Eventually, the situation became so dire that I had to choose between gaining my family’s approval and my own health and well-being. I needed time and space to learn how to love and care for myself no part left out.
Feeling like an orphan during the holidays with no immediate family to "go home to" has not been easy, AND it has allowed me the space to find peace, joy, and light in myself. It has been an exercise in coming home to myself!
Through the process of prioritizing my own happiness, I have discovered a Self+Care system that helps cultivate authentic joy. This system can be used daily throughout the year but is especially useful during the holidays.
The C.E.L.L.S. of Daily Living
Just like our bodies are made up of cells, we can use the C.E.L.L.S. of Daily Living to cultivate joy and improve our quality of life.
Connect: Human beings are wired for connection. We are a social species. Connecting with others in a way that allows us to feel safe, supported, seen, and heard is vital to cultivating joy and can significantly improve our quality of life.
Examples of ways to connect:
Call or text friends and family with whom you feel safe and supported
Participate in groups with whom you have a shared interest or hobby
Use social media to find others with whom you can relate through shared experiences, hobbies, and interests
Support others’ dreams and ambitions
Spend time in nature
Express: Expressing ourselves through the creative process has many benefits, including increasing positive emotions, lessening depressive symptoms, reducing stress, decreasing anxiety, and even improving immune system functioning. How we express ourselves creatively looks different for everyone, and we are all capable of being creative. Expressing our creativity has less to do with what we create and more to do with the process of using our mental capacity to imagine and allowing ourselves the freedom to find joy in expressing who we are.
Examples of ways to express yourself:
Write
Dance
Draw/paint/color
Sing/create music
Craft/create something with your hands
Take pictures/make videos
Love: Love is our true nature; however, many of us find it easier to love others than to love ourselves. Practicing self-love allows us to fill our cup first. When our cup is full, our love for others can pour out with abundance rather than depleting us. It's like being on an airplane when they tell you to put your air mask on before assisting others. There are many ways we can practice self-love. For more on self-love, check out my 2-part series: Unlearning My Way Back to Self-Love and Loving Yourself "No Part Left Out."
Examples of ways to love yourself:
Meditate (see Loving Yourself "No Part Left Out")
Take a bath
Take a nap
Practice grounding
Play
Move your body in a way that feels good
Say "no" to activities that are not in alignment
Say "yes" to activities that are in alignment
Use positive affirmations
Learn: Setting aside time on a daily basis to learn is essential for improving our quality of life and creating sustaining health and well-being as we get older. Studies show the wide range of benefits of life-long learning, and they include improved memory, increased confidence, improved interpersonal skills, enhanced self-esteem, and increased wisdom. Life-long learning also helps us find meaning in our lives and adapt to change.
Examples of ways to learn:
Reading
Watching a TED Talk (one of my favorites is Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability)
Taking a class
Listening to a podcast/dharma talk
Learning a new language
Ask for and be open to receiving help
Share: We all possess our own unique gifts that are meant to be shared with the world. When we share these gifts, the benefits are two-fold; it allows us to be seen and heard, and those who bear witness to our sharing receive a unique gift that only we can provide. Each of us was born into this world at this time for a purpose because we are meant to have an impact on the planet, and we can fulfill this purpose by speaking our truth and sharing our gifts.
Examples of ways to share:
Speak your truth with love, compassion, and integrity
Share your creative work with others
Post on social media
Lean into the discomfort of shining your light
Trust that the way you show up influences those around you
The C.E.L.L.S. of daily living are intended to be aspirational practices which means we can cultivate joy and improve our quality of life by aspiring to practice them daily. The goal is to cultivate joy and improve quality of life; if completing all of them every day feels overwhelming, stressful, or unattainable at this time, modify, customize, and make it your own! You are your own best guide; trust your inner knowing to determine what you need each day.
If you're interested in learning more about these practices and how they can benefit you or if you want to deepen your current practice, I invite you to check out my services page.